So, what are ‘malaphors’? These ‘lexical chimeras’ are funtastic!

They’re not spoonerisms, bon mots or puns. Some have called them malamanteaux or a portmanpropisms. Douglas Hofstadter is a fan, and reportedly has a file of thousands.

Jun 03, 2025

Reading time: 2 minutes

In a malaphor (malapropism + metaphor), two or more words or phrases (e.g. aphorisms, idioms or clichés) are mixed, whether intentionally or not, to make something funny.

They’re creative and delightful. They’re neologisms, but not spoonerisms, bon mots or puns. Some have called them malamanteaux or a portmanpropisms (portmanteaux + malapropisms). There is a “strange brilliance” (suki) to these “lexical chimeras” (Reggie Digest). Douglas Hofstadter loves them and reportedly has a file of thousands.

The word malaphors was coined by Lawrence Harrison in a Washington Post article in August 1976. A.k.a. idiom blends, they’re “close, mixed-up cousins of mixed metaphors” (Nordquist). Richard Lederer calls them “accidental assaults” on the English language, although they may of course also be intentional – “an error or… a creative act” (Hofstadter and Moser, p. 186).

While Douglas Hofstadter and David Moser were initially attracted to collecting examples of malaphors by how amusing vagaries of language and behaviours can be, they “realized… that the study of speech errors and action slips… can provide enlightening glimpses into the mechanisms of cognition” (185).

In their view, “speech errors of all kinds swarm in our linguistic environment like hordes of variegated insects waiting to be caught, labelled, and categorized”. A general problem in the study of errors, they write, “is the development of a clear and reasonably complete set of error types. Starting with a few well-known standard categories, we have made some headway, but our classification scheme is still somewhat ad hoc and unrefined”.

Here’s my selection of malaphors, for your amusement:

You hit the nail right on the nose.¹She really stuck her neck out on a limb.¹I can’t make these split-minute decisions.¹I can read him like the back of my book.²The sacred cows have come home to roost with a vengeance.²We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.²We will get there by hook or ladder.²It’s time to step up to the plate and lay your cards on the table.²He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.²It sticks out like a sore throat.²It’s like looking for a needle in a hayride.²It’s time to swallow the bullet.³It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.³Let dead dogs sleep.³That guy’s out to butter his own nest.³He’s between a rock and the deep blue sea.³This country is going to hell in a handbag.⁴We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.⁵He’s between a rock and the deep blue sea.⁵misunderestimate⁶overflowded⁷I misconscrewed it up.⁸We’re in a f***ing stagmire here!⁹ambiviolence – as in, ‘who should I kill?!’¹⁰craptacular¹¹tragesty¹²tragitastic¹³I was flustrated – someone explaining their inability to talk while upset.⁸spontanimosity – meeting and instantly disliking someone.¹⁴heathengelical – coined in reference to Richard Dawkins but, since, any rabid atheist.¹⁴sarcurious – taking a tone that’s both sarcastic and curious, likely because one is defensive about not understanding the previous statement.¹⁵traumajesty – “a situation that is, simultaneously, a tragedy, a travesty and a trauma, but brings all of these conditions to majestic new heights”⁶
exorberant – something on which you gleefully spend far too much money.⁶

Did you notice that Harrison’s word malaphors is itself a malaphor of sorts, or at least a mash-up? Cowabunga! “Whatever you want to call these, I hope you’ll agree: each one is a pearl worth its weight in gold” (Brandreth, cited in Nordquist). And, speaking of similes, danlamb23 lists two wonderful ones from Will Morton: “Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever” and “He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree”.

Footnotes

1. Douglas Hofstadter and David Moser, cited in Nordquist. 2. Gyles Brandreth, cited in Nordquist. 3. Richard Lederer, cited in Nordquist. 4. Sharon Baldacci, cited in Nordquist. 5. Richard Nordquist. 6. Faint of Butt, cited in suki. 7. oneirodynia, cited in suki. 8. suki. 9. The sopranos, cited in suki. 10. BlackLeotardFront, cited in suki. 11. Reggie Digest, cited in suki. 12. limeonaire, cited in suki. 13. po, cited in suki. 14. tiny crocodile, cited in suki. 15. iamkimiam, cited in suki.

About Johan

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This is my monthly missive about all things English.
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